So to pick up where I left off, I took a nap after the last post & then I get a call about 1500. He’s done with the family stuff for a bit & wanted to get together. I called T&J to find out what they were up to, they were in the lobby apparently they had come in when I was sleeping. So EE decided to swing by & we ended up having some beer & wine in the room & just talking. We decided to go to Winston’s for supper, the pub side of Shuler’s http://www.schulersrestaurant.com/ very cool atmosphere, almost more New England than Midwest. T&J both got the walleye, we ended up both getting the pot roast. It was sooo tender, so good. And the first time I had ever had rutabagas. Had a dark horse ale with it.
From there, we went back to the hotel, picked up his car (we needed both of them to get everyone there) and drove over to his house. And he’s right. This thing is tiny! I don’t know that we would have been able to have a sleepover. We picked up 2 of his kids & they road with T&J over to Kalamazoo to get a table, and we went into BC to get his other son & his girlfriend. Drove into Kalamazoo to go to Bells http://www.bellsbeer.com/eccentric-cafe/ and saw a live band for a bit. We had a bit of trouble with chairs (it was standing room only) so when we got a table, I ended up on his lap for a bit.
After there, we went down to Shakespeare’s http://www.shakespearespub.com/ and you can tell very much that it is a college town. There is a band here too, blues/rock/country and they are doing some good covers. They have a huge table here & it’s full of family! His 3 kids, his ex-wife & her boyfriend, her nephew & his fiancé, one of his son’s friends, and the wife & daughter of one of the guys he flies with. Oh, holy sh*t! Now I am very nervous because I can’t hear, and there is so much going on I’m having a hard time following everything. Even JB is saying she feels a bit intimidated because everyone knows everybody but us.
But I stretch my “meet new people” muscles and do pretty well. The pilot’s wife I really liked talking to, she was funny. And his ex-wife. She is really sweet & they have done a wonderful job raising their kids. She was very complimentary of EE & seemed to really respect him as a person & a dad. We end up leaving there at about 1:30 I think and I’m having a hard time staying awake in the car. We get back to his house to drop off the kids (they are all adults, which is totally weird for me. 31, 28 & 26, I think there is just 2 years between each). And he’s exhausted too & so we talk about me just staying there the night & he’ll take me back in the morning “or you can take the car & come back” … ok as much as I’d love to drive that car, I don’t know where I’m going & am totally lost! So I just ask him if he’s got a t-shirt to sleep in. So he finds one, but no toothbrush. I really hate that part.
And so somehow I find myself in his bed, in his shirt, in his arms, all tangled up. And it is the most amazing feeling. We kiss, we talk. I “accuse” him of that being his evil plot all along. He just laughs. I’m trying so hard to stay detached & I don’t know that I’m doing a very good job. It’s almost more intimate than sex. We finally go to sleep.
In the morning, he wakes me up with a kiss & a smile. More kissing & touching. More talking. He’s having trouble with the “what is this” part. “I don’t really know how to date anymore? Do we just have this weekend & then not talk to each other for 2 days, how does it all work” sort of thing. I tell him I’m really struggling with that part too. “Just have to pick that path that honors who we are”. “Being with you makes me feel so good. I can’t stop thinking about you”. Ditto dude. He’s got his hands in my hair, and on my back, and everywhere. They are so soft and yet so strong. And he is so gentle. And I’m amazed at his self-control.
He gets me into the hotel, so I can shower & change & then it will be time to leave. How did it go by so fast? He walks me in, gives me a hug and kiss. Tells me to let him know where he fits. Right by my side, dude. That’s where you fit. Not sure if I’m gutsy enough to say it yet.
The 3 of us get the car packed up & ready to go. We drive by dark horse so I can take a picture. And then it is on to the highway. JB is in the backseat, she’s feeling crummy. So T & I talk. He gives me some advice. It makes sense, but contradicts some of what I thought I wanted to do. His thinking is you only get 1 go-around on this planet so make sure you get as much out of it as you can & be bold. I end up falling asleep trying to figure it all out. JB says to go with my heart, what does it say? It says I’m happy when I’m with him.
He sends me a message when we’re between Huntington & Wabash so we chat for a bit. When I get home I eat a bit, watch some TV then do some house work. Then it’s time for supper & go get the boys. He had said earlier to give him a call on the drive if I wanted. So I did. And we talk. He was so glad we came up, he had a good time. I was so glad he invited (not really, it was more JB but… he was an excellent tour guide). And I told him that if I had my choice, I would want to spend more time with him & see him again, if the opportunity were available. He said I did have my choice, so I told him my choice was that I wanted to keep seeing him, spending time with him, getting to know him. And he said he’d like that.
“I wanted to sneak you off a couple of times last night” “Oh, you should have, I was wondering if there were any dark corners in there”… and then later “I was very proud to have you there with me”. Wow, that was a really, really big one for me. Coming from him. He said I did just fine & seemed to really get along with everyone. I agreed with it. I did do OK.
So where does this leave us? I don’t know. Am I his girlfriend? Is he my boyfriend? Are we dating? Are we just friends? I need a label but I don’t have one yet & I’m afraid to put one on it. I so don’t want to get hurt again. JB doesn’t think I will be. Just one day at a time. So hard. I am so sleepy! Think I’m going to send him an email and then scoot to bed.
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