That’s me…check out my card, it shows I’m the #1 member. Got all the ribbons & certifications. I can’t even believe I let myself get excited & worked up over something. I should know better by now. That kind of stuff just doesn’t ever happen to me. EVER. No guy “cares enough to send his very best” to me. It’s just all a big cover because apparently all men are pigs. Sorry if this offends any men, but this has been my experience.
So, he’s married. And why, during any of our various conversations & comments about how “I really only call just to talk to you” bullsh*t he’s never mentioned his WIFE?! If I were her, that would piss me off. And how, you wonder, do I know? Just a little bit of recon. Don’t forget, I’m a geek & his computer is in the shop. It wasn’t that hard. Come on, did you not think I’d find out when we just talked about what documents you’d want to save before I have your machine wiped & reloaded? Why does this have to bother me? And it does REALLY bother me, to be honest. As Big & I were talking, it’s not like I had my whole life planned out but coffee with potential would have been nice.
Why am I a target of doom? Why can’t I just find the relationship I dream of in my head? It is getting harder & harder to believe; to hold on; to have hope. It just doesn’t exist. At least for me. I just need to accept the fact that at my age, it’s just not going to happen. But I so want it to.
At least I held off until the drive home to start crying, right?l
So I think when he comes in to pick up his laptop it’s going to go something like “so, did you have a nice trip? It must be such a blessing to have a wife who’s OK with all the travelling you have to do”. And just see what he has to say.
Why are men so stupid? I had an ex-boyfriend ask me to clean off the viruses on his computer & when I’m digging through the registry see that he’s frequented just about every porn site there is on the face of the planet. Really!? Do you think I’m not going to SEE it? Hellllooo, do you not remember what it is I do for a living?
I feel like an idiot & a fool. I don’t really know how to help get this out of me except by writing it out. And listening to some music.
This is what strikes me right now…..
maybe a little bit of this…
with a smattering of this….
and I guess you have to remember this…
Good night!
No comments:
Post a Comment