Just another quickie

Work today made my brain itch.  Trying to work on the bank customer that we have 9 million things to do, our own internal stuff, looking for another team member.  YIKES! At least the phones didn’t ring too much.  Sunshine was out sick & the HH was out taking a test….

Let’s see… to catch up….

Sunday wen’t really well, found out Bekah’s substitute bus driver used to be Gerhard, she didn’t even know he was CoB.  It was too funny… she was like “I’ve just always know him as the crazy German mechanic dude that used to drive the bus!”  They did a really great job & my brother should be very proud of them!

And JB and I do a bit of girlie talk because she seems to think EE is like captivated with me or something.  I think she’s smoking something.  So she tells me that if we’re going to go on this trip, then I have to get some of the “foundational” conversations out of the way so it’s not so awkward.  “OK, I’ll try”, I tell her, but I’m nervous as hell to do this without my wingman.

Later that day, I send him a text… he responds back…. I respond back….he responds back…back & forth, just mostly innocent stuff.  He suggests I stop by his house on the way to Kokomo, but he lives over by Marion & it’s not on my way, and I’m scared and there’s stuff I’m trying to get done, so I decline, which I know was the right thing to do because I’m too afraid of what would have probably happened if I went and I don’t want it to just yet.  Maybe someday.  But I want to be friends first, go slow.  But I call him on the way.  He works 3^rd so he was waking up for the day by this point.  Would be totally weird.  We talk for quite a bit, but it’s weird because he doesn’t really ask any questions & I’m wondering how in the world we’re ever going to get to know each other if he doesn’t and then I think maybe I talk so much/too much he doesn’t have to, and then I think maybe he’s only interested in 1 thing so he doesn’t really care and then I just end up with a headache and try to stop trying to figure it out.

Monday morning after his shift he sent me a nice little note & I responded back.  Monday night I logged into work email & sent him a note, since I had his email on his card.  Thought that might be safe.  Didn’t really say much, just a hi & some cheese-bally stuff, since I’m a big dork anyway.  And then I’m feeling dorky and desperate & suffocating for sending it & wishing I hadn’t.  The last thing I want to do is turn into the recruiter.

When I told Cheryl about the weekend, she was like “wow, so he’s leaving you in control” (regarding him not asking me for my number, but giving me his card instead) and she thought that was pretty neat.  I did too.

So now I find myself thinking about him a lot, which is kind of silly since I don’t really even know him, thinking back on that kiss and how I want to do it again.  How I want to get to know him, how he’s incredibly interesting & intriguing.  And scared out of my wits that he really just wants to get in my pants and that he could care less about the whole rest of the package. And trying so hard to not get caught up in it.  Please help me with that part….

Once, twice...

Today was good.  I got up about 8:30 & got showered & dorked around before I needed to get ready to go to Fort Wayne.  Had a very interesting message from someone new on the site. HOT.  Very surprising. Did I mention HOT?  On the way back through town & decided to get my hair done for tonight because I hate having to do it myself if I want anything other than “the usual”.  It ended up being much more expensive than I thought.  Maybe next time I’ll try one of the other places.

I got to Charley Creek about 15 minutes late.  EE was not there, but Jill was so we stood around & talked to Lee & Rob.  Then he walks through the door.  And I’m very awkward at first, I can’t find my groove & luckily Jill’s got enough of it for both of us.  So we do the testing thing & then go into the bar.  Bartender is there again tonight, but it is so crazy busy we don’t get much time to flirt too much.  But it does give me a chance to talk to EE a bit.  He flies.  Wow.  You know I’m a sucker for that!  And he’s got 2 bikes! A Deuce and a Ducati…..FRAK ME!  Go slow, elle, a guy is more than just a bike & a plane.  It will be my undoing.  I do just want to take it slow but geez, never thought it would be so hard.

We ended up closing it down again tonight, but an hour earlier, at least, as I need to get up & be with the students tomorrow for church.  My brother’s students are leading service tomorrow & I need to be there early.  And he bought my drinks, well, he picked up my bill when Bartender gave it to me.  And then walked me out to the car.  And I gave him a hug good bye & he gives me his card with his number.  I guess that is the safe ‘10s way of doing things…  And then somehow we are kissing.  And it’s a sweet kiss, but oh how I’m wanting it to be more.  I’m holding back, totally wanting to totally unleash it all.  And then I’m kind of mad at myself because I want to go slow & I’ve only known this guy for 24 hours & I’m already kissing him? I barely know him.

And he reminds me so much of the Fairfax fireman that I used to have a thing for.  And that really complicates it.  Because I had totally fallen for him.  What am I going to do? I need to be so careful, go soo slow.  JB managed to find out there are some microbreweries up by where EE is from in Michigan.  So somehow she’s orchestrated a road trip up there on the 26^th.  Looks like I’ll need to re-schedule my massage appointment.  I’m so scared & excited all at the same time.  We’ll be staying in a hotel though.  Which is better.  Think I have some recon I need to do.

Everybody's workin' for the weekend....

So, yea, it’s late, but I want to get this down before I forget & maybe it well help me sleep. 

I was at work like 45 minutes & I get a call from Little Friends that 009 fell & busted his head open.  So I go get him there is blood everywhere & they’re trying to get him calmed down & cleaned up.  I take him over to Duke’s.  They got him cleaned up a bit more & determine it’s good for glue, so he decides that instead of stitches.  We get back in the car to head home & he was like “can I watch a show when we get home?” “Dude?!?! You are going to school, didn’t you hear the nurse say you were OK?”  NOOOOOOOOOO!  Lol

Get back to work and try to figure out the PIX box that has been driving me crazy & then also some stupid WMI stuff that I can’t quite get.  I know I’m close, but I’m missing something.  Then it is time to leave & take the boys to Kokomo.  I’m so tired I’m falling asleep at the wheel, so I pull out the iPOD and that helps.  And I am so looking forward to the wine night at Charley Creek with Jilly Bean.  I’ve got my sweater on that keeps falling off my shoulders, and if I do say so myself, I’ve got hot shoulders.  I stop by the house first to fix my hair, face & lips.  And spray some good smelly stuff on.

We get there and hardly anyone is there.  There is Nathaniel who looks like a very young Matt Damon.  He’s very cute.  And there is Owen who serves me the Ice Wine.  It is very yummy, and so is he.  So we get done with all of it & decide to go into the bar.  There’s a German dude from the local dairy (the big one on the way to Marion) & he & JB start yacking it up and that is soo funny.  And then Mr. T walks in.  I knew he was there, he had stopped to say hi earlier.  And he is DRUNK!  Wow.  Like can’t remember where he is or what he’s doing.  And JB’s all over him trying to get me to be too.  But I don’t.  He’s too drunk.

But I am so on my A-Game with the bartender.  He served at Tom’s party, that was the first I had seen him & he was there for New Year’s Eve too.  Not sure if he remembers me, but I certainly remember him.  He’s young, but     so     very    hot!  Dark hair, blue eyes.  Yummy.  And we are just flirting & having a good time.  And it feels so good to flirt with someone when it has the potential to lead someplace.  And there are a few times when we make eye contact that my heart is on a roller coaster ride!  Crazy crazy crazy!

And then JB starts chit chatting with another guy down at the end of the bar.  We’ll call him EE.  He’s quieter.  Drinking a Guinness – impressive, not many around here can handle that beer.  I miss them!  And she finds out that he also really likes wines so she invites him to the wine thing tomorrow because she’s going to go too.  And she’s trying to get me to go back & I’m seriously considering.  The guy seems well mannered, well spoken.  She really likes him & she’s better at that than me.  She keeps talking me up to him & that makes me very embarrassed.  He thinks I’m intimidating.  Great.  I don’t get that.  But now I’m starting to talk to him too & the more I do, the more he seems pretty OK.  But you know me, I’m working it still pretty hard with Bartender.  I am in the moment, in my element, drinking it all in & trying to enjoy the flirting, the banter & the attention.

So we end up closing the place down.  EE steps back to allow me to go through the door first & puts his hand on the small of my back.  Now, maybe I’m a bit old-fashioned, but that just seems to be a very gentlemanly thing to do.  Made a huge impression.  He said he was going to come tomorrow, and now I’m really, really intrigued.  He’s not overly tall.  I do really like them tall, but it is not a show stopper.  Tom had asked me earlier, thinking I liked shorter men. I said, “no not really, I like them taller”.  And he said, “what gives, the EX is short”.  And I said, “yea, I just really like them all!”

There was a fireman celebrating his birthday.  He comes over to talk for a bit.  He’s also young.  And drunk.  But it was fun.

And while all of this is going on, I am just wanting to get FRAKED!  And fraked hard.  JB said I had 3 possibilities, but I didn’t see it.  If that were true, someone (not me!) should have made a move.  But no one did, as I’m sitting here by myself.  My whole body was humming with wanting to be kissed & daydreaming about what I would have done with any of the 3 of them.  Maybe even 6 if you count all of them up.  But I was left very unfulfilled.  Maybe next time.  I’ll let you know if I go tomorrow.

Speaking of tall, one of the guys that works for a customer of ours is so cute and he’s like 6’8”!  but I don’t think he really knows I exist.

Tears of a Clown

Today was just….awful…. mainly I suppose because I let myself get rattled and then it is just a slippery slope.  I was trying to fix something that I just absolutely have no idea how to fix, I’ve been avoiding it & now the BR MGR is getting irritated because it’s still an annoying popup on his screen.  He’s not technical, he doesn’t understand, nor does he really give 2 shits that we are down 2 men from where we want to be.  We actually now have 1 more person than when I started.  So now my boss is upset & wanting me to document everything in case HIS boss decides to get in on the action, and why do we have so many old tickets anyway?!?  He knows the answer, but he’s frustrated just like me.  So I am making my forehead bloody, Sunshine offers to help but I’m just in a bad mood.  I’m just trying to do what I’ve been told to do, no creative thinking going on here.  And he’s trying to be helpful & say all the right things “don’t let it get to you, why are you so worked up over it”, etc.  Finally he says “helping you when you are frustrated is as bad as trying to help me when I am frustrated – worthless!”  Yea, he’s absolutely right.  He leaves, I start crying at my desk. Geez, what the frak is wrong with me. I am having a mental breakdown, I’m actually having a panic attack, which I don’t do – ever – and that is making me panic more.  I am a world-class freak, and I’m definitely not setting a very good example for anyone else there.  And we just have too much to do & they just keep heaping it on.  I can’t see straight.

I heard that Blankie doesn’t like his nickname, so I guess I’ll go to BB, but that was Brian’s….  I thought it was very clever & cuddly & warm & cozy, but ….

And then 009 is calling me wondering where I am because I’m late, luckily I was right there & he forgave me.  Then they ate supper with their dad.  So I pedaled & watched some TV to try and get the elephant off of my chest.  It said I did 500 calories worth.  That would be lovely for 40 minutes.  My waist measured 32.  I remember when it used to be 25.  I remember when I used to work at Pythia & Darren would always freak out because his thigh was bigger around than my waist & I thought it was cute.  And I thought he was cute.  But he was married.  But I didn’t have my rules then.  But we didn’t.

So I decided to check my email & I had one from match.  I had been emailing off & on one of my “matches’.  So he responds back that he had started dating someone, wasn’t sure where it was going to go & wanted to know if it didn’t work out could he contact me again (I’ve not EVER handed out my personal stuff, I refuse, only the site).  And at first I was thinking, yea good luck to you dude, sure drop me a note.  But now that I’ve had time to think about it, what the fuck??!?!  I’m insulted!  I’m not going to be your fallback position any more than I’ll be the wrestler’s!  So I’ve just come to the conclusion that it. is. just. never. going. to. happen.  There is NO point in having hope it is just a monkey on my back.  I am apparently too fat, too ugly, too weird or too something for anyone to ever really take interest in who I truly am.  What I want does not exist.

At choir practice the wrestler’s mom is not there again, her sister-in-law was very ill on Sunday & they did not expect her to survive.  Chances are he was in Ohio too. And why do I even care?  Why did I even notice the other Sunday that the jarhead sticker was off his back bumper.  Because I can’t help myself.  Can someone please just suck that memory out of my head?  Just like I…. well, never mind…

And I cried on the way there, and I cried on the way back.  I think I’m having a midlife crisis.  I just don’t even want to exist anymore.  I am just putting 1 foot in front of the other and I don’t even know why except for those 2 boys upstairs asleep.  007 came down earlier, just to sleep in my lap.  And that made me cry.  Getting stuck in my driveway made me cry, my furnace made me cry, my frozen pipes tonight made me cry.  I am an emotional freak.  A train wreck.

I’ve been thinking about my message on the 20^th.  About doing it on obedience.  And how Abraham was so obedient he was willing to sacrifice his son.  And how God was so honored by that obedience that he delivered a ram instead.  And how I feel like Abraham.  All he ever wanted was a son, a successor to the family.  All I ever wanted was the white picket fence.  And then I thought I had it.  And then it was taken away.  No ram for me.  And all the king’s horses and all the king’s men aren’t going to be able to put it back together again.  And they’re not even going to be able to give me a newer, shinier one.  And I wonder how in the world Paul was ever able to be content being the prisoner.  Sure, it was “just” house arrest, but he was shackled, in the basement.  Never to see the light of day again, to feel the sunlight on his face.  And I think that is me.  And somehow I have to be able to feel content knowing that is all that I will get.  But I can’t because my heart longs & yearns for more.  2 men, both obedient.  One blessed worldly, the other, not.

Wow, it’s late, I guess I need to get to bed & be rested up so that I can start this mess all over again.  Tomorrow is always another chance, right? Tomorrow is the wine & chocolate extravaganza at Charley Creek with Jilly Bean.  Who knows what that might bring, right?

On a good note, the credit card remains paid off now for 4 weeks, totally cool.  I’ve been paying extra on my bike, but I paid double-extra on it this time.  In fact, I’m thinking if I make the “extra” payment every week I’ll have it paid off by May.  I’m so totally considering it.  And on Monday I’ll have my emergency fund back at the recommended level & I’ll start making a larger deposit too the week after.  Go me!

Hopefully this week I can make it to FISH.

Code Blue!

So today at work Bill L & Kevin from WatchGuard were in town doing some firewall training.  Some 101 stuff, as well as the “what’s new inFireware 11.4” stuff.  So all day long I got to hear about PAT, SNAT, 1-1 NAT, hairpinning vs. split brain DNS, SSL vs PPTP VPN, routed VPN vs. Bridged VPN and I think there is blood coming from my ears at this point.  I think I have completely maxed out my IRQ buffers.  My interrupt handlers are smokin’… captain, I’ve given ya all she’s got, I canna give ya any more…. There is a part of me that was like “I really wanted to just leave this all behind” and then there is this other weird, geeky part of me that is getting off on it because it is all just so…well, cool.  But 5 hours & 1 glass of wine & I still have a major case of brain hurt, ya know.

And this dude is like, hard-core.  He runs one of these boxes at home so he can log & report the activity his family does. SERIOUSLY!  Wow.  And me being the bad parent that I am, don’t have any parental controls at all & am gullible & naïve enough to think I don’t need it…yet.

And during this whole thing, Sunshine calls not once, but twice.  Mainly because, I guess, no one else handles his schedule in quite the special little way I do.  I have no idea.  It took forever for him to trust me & give me the time of day, now he doesn’t want anyone else.  I guess be careful what you ask for.  It’s not like The Hobbit or Blankie can’t do it too; they have the same access & abilities as me – and he knows I’m in training – and he STILL asks for me. Geez!

So Tuesday night we are reading Luke 1 and of course he is talking about the virgin Mary.  So 009 asks what a virgin is.  Oh frak!  Um, well, it is someone who’s not had sexual relations before.  What are sexual relations?  Well, you know, sex… no I don’t know. …. Well…. Like kissing & touching that a man & his wife would do…. What kind of touching….well, of privates….oh (now he’s blushing) I was ok until you said that. Then 007 says but someone at school told me no one should ever touch my privates….well, it’s ok if it is your wife & you say it’s ok….well, what if I say no?  then she shouldn’t.  but what if she says it’s not ok?  ….wellll…. then you don’t.  ….is the other person allowed to persuade???? Gently… yes, but never force, threaten or bribe…..oh….ok can we go back to reading now? (that was me!)

That was SERIOUSLY THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE CONVERSATION I’VE EVER HAD!  And I’ve had a lot of them….but maybe it will be easier next time.

So this AM was pretty cool, I even got to the office before the Karate Kid.  By 5 seconds.  That felt totally awesome.  And he did not stay up at my desk for 40 minutes to talk, so I actually got A LOT done before everyone else got there. That was totally cool.  Not that I mind what happened yesterday, but let’s face it, they aren’t paying me to sit around and chit chat.

I got to bed too late, so I need to make on-time tonight.  Tomorrow is choir & bill paying nite, so I probably won’t post.  And the EX is coming up to take the boys out to supper.  That should go well.  I pissed him off last time, I think.  I’ll try not to do that again, but I have a way of doing that…

Friday night, Jilly Bean & I are supposed to go out to Charley Creek Inn for a Wine & Chocolate event so maybe they’ll be some eye candy there to boot….maybe I’ll find me a little something-something…One can always have hope, right?

 

Just another day...

 Oh, what a good song by John Melloncamp!  We have a customer at work who hates our hold music.  He tends to be a little crotchety but I like him, he’s funny.  This is my first week trying to do the 7-4 shift since we lost Mr. YY.  So far, not gone so great.  Monday I had to have a heating dude come take a look at my stuff because the house is not warm.  The warmest it was over the 7 days since the blizzard was 63.  At one point it was down to 58.  Since it is only supposed to be 8 tomorrow, I really wanted to get it addressed.  Apparently there was nothing wrong other than the heat pump not being elevated enough so all the condensation was icing it over.  And by icing it over, I mean turning it into a frozen, rock hard lump of ice.  Antartica style.  So he switched me over completely to emergency heat & said call us when it thaws & we’ll jack it up.  Hope this doesn’t jack up my electric bill but it can’t be any worse than it running CONSTANTLY for like 8 hours straight.  So I’ve decided cooler actually isn’t so bad & have adjusted the schedule according cause it was acutally HOT when I came home Monday.  Guess the furnace works.

Downside to me going in early is the boys have to get up at 5:30 to go to Little Friends before school and they have to go to bed at 8.  So far they are adusting OK I think other than last night it being almost 9 before they were asleep.  Suprisingly not overly tired this AM.  Upside, is that if I can get my butt out of my chair at 4 when I should, I’ve got a fair amount of time in the evening.  Working on that part.  I’m picking 009 up after school Wed & Thur after battle of the books & math bowl so I hope that helps form the habit.  Cause that’s really all life is, habits. I don’t really need to give them any of my time for free.  However, I did get a raise, which is cool cuase 2 years ago, everyone got a pay cut.  This year, now, they’ve gotten it all back, which is also cool as everyone has worked very hard with a lot less to do more.  I think most every business can say that.  I think it’s a good sign that the wheels are starting to turn.

Speaking of habits, I got myself a pedal thing.  Not like a complete stationary bike, as I don’t have room for them & most of the seats are not “vagina-friendly” as I read in O magazine this week…gotta love that; it is a great way to describe it… but just one that sits on the floor & lets you sit in a normal chair.  So I do that, and read my magazines (obviously) or watch TV while I do it.  It is amazing, if the counter is to be believed, in a half-hour time, I can burn 300+ calories.  That is easily 3x what I can do on the rower.  Weird part, I’m more sweaty after the rowing.  So which one is the better deal? Not sure.  I wasn’t really losing any inches or firming anthing up with the rower so I became very disastified with the result in propertion to the effort.  Not sure this is going to be any better.  Last week we didn’t go to Kokomo & we won’t this week either so I will miss the 2 mile walk again, but I like saving the gas/money.

This morning, backing out of the snow-walled driveway (honestly not that bad, but 2+ feet in places…) I managed to get the car stuck & let a “shit” fly with the boys in the car. Not happy.  I was so going to be early/on time & I was so stoked as I’ve really struggled over the past year getting there before I’m supposed to be.  Had to change shoes. Dig out the car.  Texted my boss.  It acutally came out faster/easier than I thought, praise God. Got the boys to Little Friends, they had the door fixed where 007 “broke” it last night.  They are automatic sliders, but he ran into them & they are supposed to “give” and swing open.  It did,.  Just didn’t go shut, so they wouldn’t glide.  He said “Oh good, now I don’t have to feel so guilty anymore”  Poor guy, I felt bad for him because I knew he felt awful as soon as he did it, but he’s got to learn to chill it a bit too.  He went on to say maybe it was OK cause he learned he can’t do that.  That’s a step…

Sunshine laughed at me, but did say he would have helped pull me out I needed it.  He’s got a nice big truck.  He’s trying to sell it, I do like it, but I’d really like to get a charger or camero or mustang instead.  None of them practical on the ice, but then what wheeled vehicle is practical on the ice?  So I get there about 5 minutes late.  He comes up & starts talking & just like, well, keeps talking & we’re talking wreck stories.  Luckily I don’t have nearly as many, or as bad, as him.  But it makes me think back to a year ago when I just wasn’t even sure I could keep working with him because he could just be a dick.  But I stood up for myself over something & ever since then, well, we’ve had a pretty decent working relationship.  We talk & joke & flirt a bit.  We’ve even gone to lunch a couple of times, with Big. Too bad he’s married, I guess.  Although he needs to stop buzzing his head, he looks better with some hair.  He called me vivacious today.  Wow, what a word! ;)  Usually I’m just the scheduling maven, which is better than being the scheduling bitch, however, yesterday he did call me the ticket nazi.  That’s probably true, but it is part of the job, along with scheduling.

So Big & I went to lunch today, Taco Bell, which was really not so good, I got the Stufd Steak Burrito without beans, as refritos are horribly full of calories & cholesterol.  Love beans, but not those (but they are yummy, but I’m trying to watch a bit what I’m eating too).  And I’ve shared with him that I joined Match (I know he had before he got married) and told him that I really wasn’t doing any better with the virtual dating than I was with the real life stuff & I had the epiphany that I was in fact, PAYING to be REJECTED.  How screwbally messed up is that?!?!   I must be some sort of freak.  And, well, there have been a few that it has matched me up with or that I’ve found who have promise, but I don’t get anything from them after I message them.  So it really is just like real life.

And then I wonder if I’m not holding true to my statement that I want the man to make the first move.  And then I get all stuck on that & don’t know what to do.  So if I email him first, is that me making the first move, or no?  I don’t know & I’m obsessively stuck on that.  I might as well be rain man saying “definitely, not my underwear, definitely…” sheesh for pete’s sake!  Or they are like vultures decending on fresh meat.  Wow, no thank you.

Mr. Bulldog called last week & I don’t know how got on the subject (geez, dude, you’re married! But maybe he’s just naturally chatty, I don’t know!) but he asked if I were single & I said yes, I am, in fact I’ve not been on a date for over 18 months.  To which he was very surprised & said it had to be by choice because he was sure I had men knocking down my door.  And I said, yes, but I’ve not even been asked out once, to which he thought that was even more odd.  I ended up having The Hobbit help him.  For 2 reasons, I knew he’d get it done faster than me & 2 I like the dude too much & don’t really want to talk to him as it cannot go there.  I have rules as Big would say.  And they are for a reason, I know how I am.

It made me think about how when I was younger everyone used to always say “oh, don’t worry honey, you’re gotta have to beat them off with a stick” or “they’ll be knocking your door down”.  And how I wanted that to be true so much.  I’d see other girls in the class get that kind of attention, but never me.  And I would keep waiting for it, because everyone told me it would happen.  But you know, it never did.  And it never has.  And it probably never will.  And now I just think it is a very cruel thing to tell any young person that.  Or un-young person.  And most times it just makes me wonder what is wrong with me. Cheryl says it’s because God knows “I’ve got work to do” with this Wounded Heart book.  I suppose, but it is not a very satisfying answer.

I’m giving the message again in two weeks.  Guess I’m going to have to get a move-on with it.  The litergy looks like it is over “obedience” so if I can figure out how it fits in my life, I think I’ll come up with something pretty good.  Right now I have to be obedient to my alarm clock so I can get up at 0430 in the am.

Snowgeddon 2011

That’s what it’s being called.  A bit trumped up, if you ask me.  Nothing like ‘77 & ‘78.  But bad enough that I got my first adult snow day off from work.  Ever.  That was kinda cool.  Finally figured out with the help of my bro that the heat pump was not set right & was set to always being in use instead of calling the furnace when it got too cold.  Except the house still isn’t above 62.  So the heating people think maybe an element is bad.  Great. Really wasn’t looking forward to that.  I’ll have to dip into the laptop replacement fund I’m sure.  Big sad face.  The silver lining is that it really hasn’t been too uncomfortable so maybe I won’t jack it up to 68 when it’s all fixed.  That’s where I normally have it. Not sure if it would make a huge difference in the electric bill or not.  I think maybe I have finally really become an old person if all I do is gripe over my electric bill….sigh…. Dad talked to Mr. Burns about my windows & the fact that they have no storm windows.  He said if they are good windows, you don’t need storm windows.  What are my luck they are not good?  He said they probably just need to be “adjusted” whatever that means, but I trust the guy as he is good, old order stock.  So I guess add that to the list.  Looks like I’m just not destined to get a new laptop, ever….

Maybe my tax refund, if I get one…. Sigh…why does it seem just when you’re climbing out of the hole, someone is up top to kick you back in?  Friends of mine are doing the Dave Ramsey thing.  I like the concept, but how it the world would one ever go to college, own a house or a car?  I don’t think it is possible.  Based on some people’s incomes, like those who are in the $10-$15/hour range, it would take their entire lives to save up even for a $50,000 house.  What are you supposed to do in the mean time?  Perhaps other cultures have it figured out better with multi-generational homes.

And my vacuum is going on the fritz.  So what would Dave say?  He would say save until you can spend cash.  But what are you supposed to do about the floor until then?  Pick it all up by hand?  Brooms don’t work so great on carpet.  I see why it’s called a slippery slope…. Maybe Monday my furnace will just be a quick fix.  They could have come over the weekend, but it was like a $175 emergency charge.  I’m getting cheap in my old age.  Well, guess you all can just wear 3 sets of PJs cause momma’s going to wait!  Maybe my vacuum will hold on a bit longer.  Just seems like all my thoughts are money-based these days.  Don’t much like that.  Well, I mean, I try to be mindful, but I don’t want it to be the only thing I’m thinking of, you know?  I want to be responsible, be a good steward and be able to provide for my family.

Today, we had to schlep into town to go to Walgreens, Kroger & the Laundromat.  Last time 007 slept in my bed, he wet it.  Luckily last time I was at Target I got a new mattress pad that is waterproof as I was tired of not having one & that happening & then trying to clean the mattress.  But… my comforter got hit.  And it’s a king size, which does not fit in my poor little laundry machine.  And the last time I did it I used at 30# which was not big enough as part of it was still dry when I took it out.  Soooo….. I found a #35 and for $4.00 it did get very wet, and apparently clean.  Then .75 to dry.  But it wasn’t really dry.  I was tired of not being home so we came home & I laid it out on the bed.  And discovered that it wasn’t really quilted the way I thought it was & all the batting was in a good bunch.  So I had to try and stretch that back out.  And so it is now providing humidifier services upstairs.

And I’m trying to get everyone to start going to bed earlier as I’m going to try and start the 7 am shift on Tuesday.  Well, it would be Monday but they are supposed to be here between 8-10 to look at said furnace.  Which I thought was a Bryant, but it is a Lennox.  Hope that doesn’t mess stuff up.  I asked Sunshine if he could still come in at 7 on Monday but he did not give me much of an answer.  I need to let my boss know too.  Luckily, I can still do tickets here at home so that should be helpful, especially if I let Hobbit know he’s got the phones till I get there.  And I’ll need to call Cheryl to let her know I won’t be there.  I’ve been thinking of dropping down to every other week anyway.  Just seems right.  And it saves a bit of $$.  But I think she’s worth it.

Read a bit more in the book & it talked about contempt. Yea, I got tons of that, so I need to do more reading & working on that.

Thursday I did get my little pedal exerciser thing.  It was really cool when I tried it out.  30 minutes & I had done like 2800 “stokes” and like 400 calories.  Seemed hard to believe that it was that many calories as I was not even sweating.  And I read ½ of a magazine.  Maybe it will be correct & I can actually trim up a bit.  My pants are fitting badly and that is not a good sign.  Do not want to go bigger.  Just want to be in shape & not have undie dents on my belly.

Well, time to go to bed, I’m worship leader in the AM presuming I don’t get stuck in the driveway.