I don’t have a lot of pictures proofed yet from June 2009, but I do have a few that I uploaded. This was our summer vacation month, so just lots to dig through. Been really busy at work, trying to get mulch done, weather not cooperating, helping dad, etc. Hope you are all having a wonderful, blessed time!
Wow, so very fast approaching the end of what I have ready to upload. There are some fun ones in here, mostly birthdays and school celebrations. I’m starting to proof the ones from our St. Louis vacation last year.
It has officially been 1 month & 2 days since mom’s passing. It still doesn’t seem real, honestly. I did a page about her (the prompt topic was “a page about love”) and it just seems like the pictures were taken yesterday, but they were of her holding my babies. Well, 009 as a baby. 006 (almost 007!) didn’t like anyone to hold him except me, Bob, my dad & Bob’s dad Bob. PERIOD.
Going to work on the mulch project today (the boys & I were excited to start the “Mulch Expansion Project 2010” on Tuesday. Yea, a bit of a late bloomer, I am. Dad’s coming over later and I think we are going to lay the foundations for my raised beds in the garden for next year. Have a totally cool idea I want to try that I saw in one of my very yummy gardening magazines. Boys are gone this weekend so I’ve been goofing off & trying to catch up a bit on things around the house. Like laundry, dusting, mulching & scrapping. Too wet to caulk, so maybe next Saturday.
Last weekend we went over to see Kevin play football. OK, he did mostly standing around. Some walking. As a frosh, he doesn’t get much game time. We got there at half-time. He goes to a school that still has K-12 in the same building. How cool is that. They ended up loosing due to a couple of critical errors, but there were some good plays made by both teams & the boys had a BLAST. We took dad, he had a good time too, I think. Then Saturday Kelli took us to a very cool, working flour mill. You know, with the grindstones & everything. Took way too many pictures, I think I was irritating everyone. Dad drove, that was weird, but I took some naps & read & that was cool. But was so ready to be home by the time we got home.
When I pick the boys up on Sunday, it won’t be Bob who will have them, but his girlfriend. It’s the first time with her by herself. It will be weird, I think. I’m hoping we can have supper together so I can get to know her better.
So here are the pictures that are my faves!
My sweet 005, he is my little lovey boy.
My dad’s favorite pasttime.
My tax refund check in ’09. It now has rubber mulch all underneath of it & around. Then around that it has wood much & bushes (that’ wehre I’ve been weeding & mulching. It goes to the second pine tree in the middle (directly “behind” the slide). Project Mulch Expansion 2010 will take it from there, all the way to the road, around the phone box you can just barely see by the mailbox.
Looking it it from the other angle. Shows you the corner that you couldn’t see in the other picture.
005 looking sad because there “wasn’t anything to do and I don’t want to be here” Mother’s Day 2009.
Me, on Mother’s Day. I love Pizza Hut, so that is where we went. Even went there on my senior prom, but that’s another story…
008 trying to get all 3 of us. Again, on Mother’s Day. These are the things that make me happy!
Being silly eating snowcones at the school carnival.
More snowcone action. Love those eyes!
Games, games, games (oh, and some chaos too, for good measure) it was a blast!
He always gets so lucky!
He ended up with over 100 AR points that year, my Mr. 008 I love to read!
More happiness!
My wonderful, sweet, grumpy, attitude-ful nephew Kevin. Love you buddy! We had his party at my house because it was just so much easier on Mom. D&K&K live 2 hours away. She was not doing well at the time.
Today was such a good, busy day. The kind of day that turns into good sleep at night… Here is what I did:
ü Caulked upstairs windows
ü Weedeated
ü Picked up sticks
ü Proofed school photos
ü Ate some lunch
ü Cleaned storm windows & screens for upstairs windows
ü Returned said clean items to upstairs
ü Remade 3 beds
ü Swept out inside of window frames – lots of old glazing!
ü Vacuumed entire house
ü Pulled 14 buckets of weeds, grass & violets from main flower bed. All done! Now time to expand it out with the new mulch!
ü Cleaned up woodpile – it was all just branches that had come off but I needed to get them into firewood type pieces
ü Burned trash
ü Dug rocks out that I want to use in new walkway
ü Went through stored clothes to find 006 some long pants that fit
ü Did an upload to flickr
Wow, that’s a lot! I kicked some list-butt today! Tomorrow I’m not sure if I’m going to go see Eat Pray Love with a friend or more work around the house… Oh, I did go see Takers last night, it was good. And this afternoon I watched The Color of Paradise. It’s a foreign flick from Iran, but you can get it on Netflix. I suggest using the subtitles. An absolutely amazing, heart-wrenching beautiful story. The cinematography is absolutely exquisite and the scenery completely stunning. It is the story of a blind 8 year old boy in a small rural village & his widower father.
We are managing to get along OK. Dad was finally able to get mom’s death certificate so he can finish the paperwork. It still doesn’t seem real when I say it. Or when I go there. I keep thinking she’s still down in Indy. But I know she’s not, I know she’s in a better place. I know if she were still in the hospital, I would be there with her instead of getting so much done around the house. I know that is why I have not been able to do very much this summer. That makes me sad. It is an odd mixture of peace, guilt, relief, sadness & happiness. I’m pretty sure it does not have a name.
Next weekend we are going over to my brother’s house to see 015 play in a football game. Dad is going with us. I think that will be good. We’ll take hot chocolate. It will be good to see everyone.
Here are my favorites…
Playing Peek – a – Boo the morning after losing that tooth. It is blurry, but I like it. I got several action shots and the blurriness of his hands still reveals his face behind them.
008 at school with some of his classwork on the wall. Really love how they do that!
005 in his kindergarten class paying attention (for once!) Isn’t he so cute! He hates being the youngest in his class….
Fish fry at church. Yummy!
Wabash Donut Shop. Also yummy! I love their Bavarian Crème (with the powdered sugar on them, but they are so messy, I end up looking like a pig! Their apple cakes are a close second…
Still cannot get enough of seeing this in the back seat!
At the park, playing.
Saturday morning playing in our PJs until noon. Apparently there is nothing better!
You can catch all of them here:
Wow, it has been a couple of crazy months with my mom being in the hospital for 2 months & trying to make the time to drive down there to see her. And then her finally losing her struggle with it all. It all still seems to be a bit surreal & I suppose I’m still in a bit of shock. It was wonderful to see family that I haven’t seen in so many years & to hear the laughter & the tears as we celebrated her life. And to hear such a large crowd sing Happy Birthday to my sister. I know she has mixed feelings about the funeral being on her birthday but I think it is a wonderful connection back to mom.
Today is the day that we celebrate all for that we labor. And so I have been busy around the house trying to keep those piles in check that keep cropping up all over. I did upload some pictures, so I’ll share those, and got an order packaged up. I also got a guilt trip from 006 soon to be 007 that I don’t have many pages in his scrapbook done, so I have one percolating over on the table. Just want to make sure I like it before I nail it all down. They are with their dad this weekend (he came up to attend the viewing & funeral and also helped immensely with the boys. They were both honorary pallbearers and I was so very proud of both of them!) and so I think it will be a nice surprise to him.
I also managed to come down with a nice cold Friday night after the viewing, so I’ve been full of snot! Been trying to not take too much medicine as it really makes sleeping funny & hard. Yesterday I managed to get 6 buckets of weeds out of the flowerbed around the playset. I think I have just a couple more day’s worth on the old stuff, then I can start working on the second addition, I can’t wait! And for fundraising this year, the school chose flowers, bulbs & trees so I’m totally stoked about that.
Our compost pile has been more fruitful than our garden this year, but considering the time limitations, I suppose that’s OK. I have big plans for it next year, I saw a lovely plan in BH&G that I totally loved, made it look intentional, a part of the landscaping instead of just this plot that sticks out like a sore thumb. So I’m going to give it a whirl. Hope my dad will come over & help with the tiller! Pray for him, if you of that persuasion, he’s having a tough time with mom being gone.
So here are the pix!
Friends at a Komets game. Isn’t she soo pretty!
More Komets action!
Perry Meridian Craft Fair, Spring Version. I did not go this year as I did not make any sales last year. Very disappointing!
Mom at the Wabash County Hospital after they found the blood clots in her legs. We didn’t know it then, but this was pretty near the beginning of the end.
My dad being goofy with Zack taking pictures. He does this because he can’t take a good one even when he tries. But he does when he stops trying.
Becoming 008. Isn’t he handsome???!
Losing more teeth. Trouble is, he doesn’t have many growing back in yet.
Thanks all for looking! The rest is out on http://www.flickr.com/photos/81154606@N00/
Wow, I got an upload done this AM, totally cool….. there is lots my therapist wants me to journal about, I guess I just need to make the time and do it, I’ve just been feeling so tired & overwhelmed that I’ve not done it. More on that later….
Here are my favorites…
Such a big guy driving the lawnmower all by himself! This was the clean up efforts after the ice storm last year…
Love seeing these guys in my mirror when I’m driving…
Best place to get donuts. Period.
Beautiful sunrise. Picture doesn’t do it justice…
Mr. H - school project. Love how he peeked out just as I was snapping….
And the full stream can be found here…..
For those of you who have been trying to keep track of my momma, she was actually up & talking this afternoon. Not all of it made sense, but wow, what an improvement! Thanks for all the prayers! We are hoping that by mid next week or so she will get moved out of the NCCU & into a regular room…
Can you believe it? I’m only 18 months behind! Sheesh, don’t get me started. Some fun bowling & the office remodel in here…
Here’s the stream….
http://www.flickr.com/photos/81154606@N00/
Tearing down the walls…..that’s Bily the new daddy…
This thing measures your fingers & thumbs so they can drill your holes the right size….
My super-cute new shoes!
Crazy-long icicle at the parental units
Zack happy because he was winning!
Look at that form! Not bad for a 007
Mark being very studly with a sledge
I did manage to get this squeezed in over the past couple days. Mom went in yesterday for her second cranioscopy and they believe they were successful in removing enough of the tumor to decompress the nerve. Time will tell. When I left Indy last night, her blood pressure was high, but otherwise, she was in good condition and trying to come around. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, leaving her there. I won’t be able to make it back until Sunday but can call down to get status updates & they know how to get a hold of me if anything should arise. Thanks to everyone for your kind words, support & prayers, they are very much appreciated.
Here is the link http://www.flickr.com/photos/81154606@N00/
And here are my faves!
He loves meat & cheese trays! It is about the only way to get him to eat sometimes!
Holiday Train Show at the White River Gardens in Indy – They sat & watched for what seemed like hours
Sergeant Santa – Office party. Shannon did a great job with it, it was so much fun!
Letter to Santa – New PJs (except for Zack. We had a 30 minute meltdown because his were Thomas the Train and those are for little kids and he’s NOT a little kid. So he has his old favorites on. And yes, Santa likes Oreos. Dipped in the milk, please.
Helping my mom with her presents. I don’t remember why, they were VERY curious. And this picture makes me sad, we’ve given up blankie….
The best present ever! He was surprised & so happy!
We love Magnetix! Except when I find them in the middle of the night, with my bare feet!
A very blessed family!
I’ve had several requests to read the message I delivered last Sunday so I figured this would be as good a forum as any to share it. So here it goes. Keep in mind, this is a piece of me and I am opening myself up in many ways. If you don’t agree, that is fine, I don’t require that, but also please be gentle with comments.
We are preparing to go down to Indy tomorrow with my mom. Many of you know she has an inoperable brain tumor. However, the past few weeks have been very hard on her, with many horrific headaches. Her neurosurgeon has decided it is necessary to do another cranioscopy only this time on her right side. This is to help save her right eye (she has already lost much function) and to relieve pressure to stop or at least lessen the headaches. She goes in tomorrow at 9 for testing & then 12 for the surgery. She is not nearly as strong as what she was 3 years ago, when they did the left side. That surgery was also very rough on her. She doesn’t even remember being in the hospital, but knows she had it done. She also had severe motor skill loss that she had to re-learn. I’m praying that this one is not as traumatic, but she only has the right side left and so therefore already has diminished capacity to relearn everything. Perhaps I’m making a mountain out of a molehill….
OK, so here it is, it is a bit long…. Forgetfulness….Salvation…. Grace
Turn me around pick me up
Undo what I've become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, need Your help
I can't do this myself
You’re the only one who can undo
What I've become
Those are the lyrics to a Rush of Fools song that came to mind when I was working on this. But we humans are such a stubborn lot. We would rather concentrate on “doing the right thing”, “being the right thing” and “saying the right thing” that we forget our salvation isn’t dependent on our works, but on our faith. Faith in His love & grace. Instead, we rather would have our salvation be dependent on atonement and doing enough, because it somehow seems simpler – or at least easier to understand.
Of all the wondrous work in this world, and I have been privileged to see a great many of them, none of them come close to his most wondrous work, which is our salvation. I know that personal salvation is the big buzz-word, but I think there’s more to it than just what’s in it for me. While it is true that faith without works is empty & meaningless; works without faith is just as hollow. James said it best in Chapter 2 when he states: What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him?... In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. But the trap you can fall into is that if we are constantly focused on WHAT we are doing, instead of WHY we are doing it, then it too loses something in the translation.
Paul admonishes the Galatians to not submit again to a yoke of slavery and by that he means, do not return to the old laws. So how is it that we, after 2000 years and many generations before us from whose wisdom we have learned, still don’t get it any better than they do?
That we serve, not to earn salvation, but to share it. And in sharing salvation we are also sharing his love. We do it not because we are convicted to do it, but rather inspired to do it. Inspired by the Holy Spirit to be MORE like Christ. Challenged to do it. Because we know the awesome freedom that comes with that love & grace; how could we NOT want to share it with others? Why would we WANT to do it any other way?
Why are we still so much like them, seeking the right set of rules? Why have we still not learned? I think it’s because somehow we are afraid that it’s a gimmick, some kind of salvation-based snake oil being pandered from the infomercial channel. Sounds too good to be true. But wait, if you call within the next 10 minutes, not only will we throw in eternal life, but we’ll also shave off 2% from your yearly tithing AND you’ll get this beautiful golden fleece. And for the first 1000 callers, we’ll DOUBLE your order. Yes, you heard that right, that’s 2 eternal lives, 4% off of your tithing AND 2 golden fleece. But only if you call now! We’ve all been taught not to believe everything we hear.
So we’d rather work, work, work, sweatin’ to the oldies, Christian-style. Cause I know that works. I’m self-made, pulled myself up by my bootstraps, I take care of things. And it does work, usually. Most aspects of life, you work hard, you are rewarded. Rewarded with a harvest from your garden, clean house, clean car, clean laundry, clean dishes, good paycheck, the long-awaited promotion. But is it possible that our spiritual life is the one exception to that model?
Why do we, just like Peter did, get trapped in this? Max Lucado has an interesting thought. In his Everyday Blessings Devotional, he states:
Paul wrote in Romans “God gives us a free gift—life forever in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
One of the hardest things to do is to be saved by grace. There’s something in us that reacts to God’s free gift. We have some weird compulsion to create laws, systems, and regulations that will make us “worthy” of our gift.
Why do we do that? The only reason I can figure is pride. To accept grace means to accept its necessity, and most folks don’t like to do that. To accept grace also means that one realizes his despair, and most people aren’t too keen on doing that either.
A friend of mine said the other night that we as a society don’t like to help each other anymore because we don’t want to owe anyone anything. Do we think the same way of God? We don’t really want salvation because we don’t want to owe him?
Somehow, we have to let go of our legalistic, Peter-like tendencies that keep pulling us back, keep changing our focus from what he’s already done for us to be free to “what is it that I need to do to be free”. That does nothing but set us up for disaster. Because we can never be enough, do enough, say enough, or give enough to get it. It’s silly really, we already have it, we have his grace, but we just don’t trust it, don’t believe it, don’t have faith in it. So much so that we keep running ourselves around like chickens with our heads cut off trying to earn it, when you just can’t. It is given through God’s love and no one else’s.
When the Jews first came out of Egypt, they were given the 10 commandments, which gave a listing of what to do & not to do to live a God-pleasing life. Eventually, those turned into books of Law. There is no way any person could keep all of them – seriously. And think about yourself, now. Have you ever driven over the speed limit? Do you want that to keep you out of heaven? But what if that’s the way it worked? I think heaven would be pretty lonely. I don’t think God wants to be lonely in heaven. I think he figured it out that we’re just not very good at living out rules.
So he sent the one man for the job. He came highly trained, schooled at all the best institutions, went on to special forces academy. He was top in his class. He was born into a poor family so he could live in the muck & the mire of humanity, in fact his own beginning was shrouded in scandal. This was so that he could understand what our pains & joys really are like. And then he lived the law. He didn’t abolish the law. He lived it. Every part fulfilled, satisfied, completed. Done, done, check, yup got that one, did that one. And then, he paid the ultimate price to seal the deal. To ensure heaven wasn’t a lonely place.
You see, when you go to the post office of heaven & check out the Most Wanted bulletin board, we’re all there hanging on it. Probably not with our best pictures either. And with a price on our head. He paid that price. But what an honor & a privilege that is. And all I had to do, all you had to do was believe.
Yes, he wants a servant’s heart, he wants us to freely give – of ourselves, of our time and possessions. But not to earn a merit badge that we can sew on our uniforms later. But because we love him. Because we love him so deeply that the only way to express that love is to have it come out in the way that we live our lives. WWJD baby.
You see, it all starts with love. His love for us. That’s what gives us the grace in the first place. Not because we loved first or thought it would be a good idea or because we had a board meeting and decided that was the most prudent action to take for 2010. But because he loves us. And it’s not a pity love. It’s the same kind of love you feel for your children. When they’ve done the wrong thing, right thing, made you proud, embarrassed, frustrated, when they come crying to you apologizing because they recognize what they’ve done. Mom, I broke the vase, dad, I accidentally hit the ball through the window. That’s what God feels.
And through that love, we are justified. Not with each other, but with God. Salvation isn’t about our relationship with our neighbors, really, but our relationship with Christ. That when we can forget ourselves in that equation and focus solely on him is when we sense the reception of the grace that has always been there.
And what happens if we are able to let go of the law and to move into a place of grace? A friend of mine answered that last week. Forgiveness & grace have power. The power to release the indebted from our persecution, yes, but we are also set free. Free from ourselves. Free from dragging the dead weight of all the wrongs committed against us. Free from having to keep track & keep score “oh no! what if I forget one!” Free from our guilt and “need to do this”-itis. And it frees that person so that they are able to free others. And in that moment we are finally at a place where we can share that forgiveness with others. And in the end, that is what he wanted us to do. Love the Lord your God and love your neighbor. Seems like really when you get down to the brass tacks, that is the 10 commandments all rolled up into a much neater package.
And this is what Paul is trying to impress upon the church at Galatia. That extending grace to those around you is the most extreme expression of love. That it is not about living by some rule or code but it is about love. That short, sweet 4 letter word. So simple, it’s almost too good to be true. The Quakers have a belief that we all have a piece of the light inside of us. How truly powerful would we all be to have that collective light working together in community?
So I challenge you as you leave this place, and go about your busy-ness this week. Are you serving because you can’t keep his love inside of you any longer, or are you doing it because you gotta earn one more notch this week in your punch card so you can get eternal life when you’re done here?
As a dear, dear friend of mine used to say, Jesus loves you baby & so do I. Take that love, share that love. Because you want to, because you’re inspired to, because you are too overflowing with the spirit not to.
Wow, I finally took some time and pushed some more pictures up to Flickr. I also proofed a bunch more this week – yea me! The boys have been at their dad’s and while I miss them terribly, I has given me the opportunity to work the early shift at work – so love getting there before the phones start ringing, and a chance to get a lot done around the house like pull 12 buckets of weeds (gee, you can finally tell I’ve been doing something!), mowing and planting some hanging baskets. Tonight I sat out on the porch & watched the fireflies & lightening while having a glass of wine. The night is so wonderful, perfect temperature, good breeze – just very comfortable. Tomorrow I’m going to try and get back into some scrapping, work outside getting weeds, and weeding over at my mom’s. If the weather plays nice, I’d like to ride the bike over.
Here are my faves, you can check out the entire upload here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/81154606@N00/
Well, when you don’t have hills to go sledding, you get Grampa to pull you behind the lawnmower. Yes, we’ve gotten it stuck, yes I’ve had to help him dig it out….
My reading fool …. 008 (don’t remember why there was a bandaid on his forehead…)
005’s kindergarten Thanksgiving program – precious!
Me & the recruiter at ATC I’m right ^ here
005’s pumpkin friend. We had major tears when he had to be interred in the compost pile… L
Family pic at Thanksgiving. The last time we’ve all been together….
005 being very upset & whispering in my ear that he accidentally went commando that day.
So tired after playing all day. He loves crashing in recliners like that. Does it here too….
