...not by nelly, but that is a good song. today was a busy day... met my ex-boss for coffee (is that weird that we are still friends) and our barrista (who is married to the kid who used to work for me(is that even stranger??)(or is parenthetical references inside other parenthetical references even weirder!)) Jett tried to get me to hook up with some dude they know. i said no. "but he was giving you the eye AND he asked me about you!" no. geez, this is getting insane though, really hope i can make it to christmas. it's hard to control certain, urges, if you know what i mean....
so after that, i went to the bank, then back home because i forgot my journal & grabbed an apple, and then to my therapy session. which is usually on monday, but the past two weeks it's been on tuesdays. that was good, and hard too. we continued to talk about pros/cons with a someone-who-shall-remain-nameless. and we talked about being unemployed and feeling like not having any anchor. and we talked about bob going to the church that i went to for 7 years. the church that still feels like home. the church that i miss with tons of my friends in it. and how that sucked. sucked big monkey balls. ok, that's crass, but you get the idea. but that i was glad my boys got to go there.
then i went to penguin point for lunch. i know, yuck you say, penguin meat? no, it's not. it's a small fast food chain, here, elkhart & warsaw, so if you are ever in the area, you HAVE to stop at. they have the best crinkle fries ever. billy (the kid married to the barrista) will instist they are not real fries because they are crinkle cut, but whatever. then i went to the church to clean it.
since i've been unemployed, i've been cleaning the church. and it is a big one for so very few people we have. it's not bad, takes anywhere from 3-5 hours a week, depending on what all i do. normally i don't have therapy and so it can take longer. but i just stick the ipod on, turn up the music and SING since there is no one else there until leslie the secretary gets there and she just laughs at me. i slip her a $20 for listening to me sing.
seriously though, i joined the choir, and so far they've not kicked me out. i know warren would be so proud of me. i just wish we sang music i felt more inspired by, more passionate about. he's a tough act to follow, that warren. i know you are up there having a great big jam session with the man, but we really miss you down here dude. it's hard not to.
then i stopped by my old work to get a hug from smelly belly melly cause i really needed one. i cried through cleaning the church becuase of therapy. not because she's mean to me, but because it always churns stuff up. and becuase i live with a lot of regret. bad choices. or maybe just not right choices. and even though i was the one that was smelly (see cleaning the church, i get sweaty!) she gave me a hug and we are going to do something friday night after i take the boys to kokomo to spend the weekend with their dad. i am sooo looking forward to it. i so need it.
i know it's only been 2 weeks since i was at the winery (ok almost, it was sunday before labor day) i need some more social interaction. i'm learning that about myself. that whilst i like my solidtude, i also really like connections.
the winery was fun. it was the oak hill winery in converse, in. and if you are around that way you really need to stop in. very friendly people & great wine, all named after local places. I liked the Sweet Salamonie and the something Sweetzer. after that, we went to one of their houses (jill & tom are friends with a group there) so there was about 20 of us altogether just haning out. i got a little drunk, but not a lot. and for once, being by myself when everyone else was partnered up wasn't so hard and i still had a ton of fun and really didn't worry about the fact that i was going to go home alone that night. see comment waaay above for how monumental that is.
and honestly i am just so stuck on this 1 person. that's where the title comes in (i know you were waiting, holding your breath trying to figure out where i was going, so you can breathe now). he keeps going over and over in my head. what am i to do cause i'm not sure he even knows i'm alive (actually he used to be a friend, i don't know what we are these days). and i've told myself no dating before christmas. it can't get here soon enough!
tomorrow, i'll be spending time with my female parental unit (mom) and then working on proofing some of the 9 million (yup!) digital pix i have sitting on my laptop. i just recently got all of 2006 printed out (about 1500) and then sorted and organized them into my binders. I follow library of memories (LOM) by stacy julian. wonderful approach to story telling, picture organizing and creative scrapbooking here's a link to it over at bps to give you the 30000 foot view... http://www.bigpicturescrapbooking.com/lom2009.php
well, someone (05) wants to be rocked, so i'm a-gonna go do that... thanks for listening again tonight...
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