Here is the full upload… http://www.flickr.com/photos/81154606@N00/
Here are my favorites:
Staying home from school sick & getting to play with my 005, so cool. And what a great shot of him!
Make a wish! I was told later I cheated on the cake decoration & I was not allowed to do that anymore.
He went through a phase of leaving me notes on the magnadoodle…
Yummy fun hot chocolate & checkers at Modoc’s
It’s a good place to hang out…
My daddy helping me change the oil….
It has been a busy summer here, different since I’m not running down to a hospital every other day, but have managed to stay on top of things around the house better. 016 has helped me get all the mulch done in the driveway flowerbed. And he and the boys have helped me get the stick & woodpile tamed. Also, have to thank EE for my chainsaw, it was so much nicer using that to cut up the branches than a bow saw! They’ve also done a fantastic job of keeping the tomatoes & strawberries weeded. Now we just need to get some stuff bearing fruit! The raspberry canes have filled out nicely, but the birds still are the only ones enjoying it. And I’ve managed to plant a few new bushes & perennials in the driveway bed & around the house so things are starting to fill in . I still have mulch left over, so I’m anxious to start my path from the porch to the driveway. Perhaps we can get that done this week. Dad is taking all 3 of the boys “camping” in the backyard and they are excited about that. I will probably go help EE with his little wall repair project. Mainly just so I can see him. Not like I’m adding any real expertise to the project. He’s handy all on his own. Dad continues to struggle with the loss of Mom. As would be expected. It is coming up on a year. I can’t believe that. Seems weird. He has good days & bad days. But his life will never be the same & neither will he.
Personally, I’m struggling with being in a relationship again. Wondering if it’s really where I need to be, have I dealt with enough baggage that I can actually be normal, or do I need to not be in one still? Am I ever going to be ready or feel ready? EE mentioned a job opening in Lansing & I just about freaked. Of course I told him I wanted him to do what he would be happy with, the best thing for him. I know he’s just a visitor here. But I felt like I was dying on the inside. And then the super freak-out response to rejection & being left behind kicked in full gear & I was so taken by surprise by it. Thought I had gotten past that. Apparently not. My therapist says I need to tell him about my reaction. Not as a pressure thing, or to change his mind, but just to communicate what was going through my head. Not sure I can. Whenever I did that with the ex, I was always told I was holding him back. Don’t want to hold EE back. She’s also told me that him going there does not have to equal him not wanting to see me ever again. Which is how I write the equation. But I know she’s right, it doesn’t have to be that way. I suppose the whole thing is just a way for me to grow in my confidence in being able to speak up for myself, and my trust in him, that what he says he really means. So far that has been true, but I’m petrified he’s going to end up being just like every other man & it’s going to be an act or a lie. I know that is not fair to him, so I’m trying really hard to have hope & faith & trust that he is what he seems to be.
Well, on a more enjoyable note, here’s what I uploaded this week… a wonderful afternoon in the park riding bikes with Grampa at Paradise Springs….
Giggly times at gymnastics…
School picture sitting…
Not sure how one sleeps in a bed this full & a rubber snake too?
Don’t remember what the stickers were for, but how can you resist that face?
And the second set of school pictures worked out better for this guy…
