Fatherly Advice

Well, I know it's not Father's Day yet, but I did stumble over this in my inbox and didn't want to hold onto it any longer.  I think it is good, no matter what the day.  And good for both boys & girls.

So many times we lose sight of how powerful our words and actions are.  We lose sight of how important people are in our lives.  We lose sight that life is not just about what we can cross off the list at the end of the day.  We lose sight that it should be more about what we ADD to the day.

ADD a smile
ADD a laugh
ADD a touch
ADD a kind word
ADD a minute with your children/loved one
ADD something beautiful

Fatherly advice as we celebrate dads by Harvey Mackay 

There was a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, to hammer a nail in the back fence. The first week the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. It gradually dwindled down as he discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. His father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper until all the nails were gone.

Then the father led him to the fence and said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one."

With Father's Day coming up Sunday, June 16, I'd like to share some of the fatherly advice I received while growing up and especially getting my start in business.

Jack Mackay taught me about time management. I still remember him telling me if you want to go fishing tomorrow, be on the dock at 2 p.m. sharp. There I was at 2:05 p.m., waving bon voyage to my dad who was driving away in the boat without his fishing buddy. Tough love, lesson learned.

My dad insisted that 25 percent of my time should be spent on volunteering, advice I've continued to follow. In addition to the benefit to the organization, you have an unusual opportunity to hone your selling skills, learn how to run meetings, prepare reports, serve on committees, supervise others, handle rejection and many other skills that can help you in your career, all while serving your community.

One of the most powerful things you can do to influence others is to smile at them, my dad said. Not to be outdone, my mother used to tell me that a smile is an inexpensive way to improve my looks, "If you're happy, tell your face."

About reputation, my dad quoted the adage, "You spend your whole lifetime building a good name and reputation, and one foolish act can destroy it." Dad was a big believer in aphorisms, which is why I end every column with a Mackay's Moral.

Most importantly, Jack Mackay taught me about networking. When I was 18, he told me that everyone I meet should go in a Rolodex file along with a little information about that person and then creatively keep in touch. You never know when your paths might cross again.

Greg Hague, an Arizona attorney and businessman, has come up with a website which he calls Savvy Dad (savvydad.com). Every day, he features a new story from a son or daughter on some special experience with their dad and how it positively impacted their life.  His readership is nearing 40,000. His book, "How Fathers Change Lives," is now available at HowFathersChangeLives.com.

Greg shared a lesson from his father, "People focus on role models, but it's more effective to find anti-models - people you don't want to resemble when you grow up."

Lise Johnson told the story of her father's devotion to her mom who became terminally ill. When she was moved to hospice, he stayed with her around the clock. He helped feed and bathe her. One nurse told Lise that she was engaged when she started her mom's care, but no longer. "I didn't know devotion like that existed in this world. I will find a man like your dad."

Our mutual friend Randy Garn, a Utah businessman, remembered how as a 16-year-old he asked his dad if he could borrow the car on a Friday night. His dad said yes, but be home by 11 p.m., or the upcoming prom was at stake. Well, Randy lost track of the time and got home after 1 a.m. He tiptoed upstairs to his room and thought he was safe until he slid into bed and discovered be wasn't alone! His dad was lying there waiting for him.

"I'm not mad, but the prom is now gone," he said without anger. "Randy, I love you so much, but unlike what you did tonight, I do what I say.

Mackay's Moral: It's funny about fatherly advice: The better it is, the harder it is to take.

November 2012 Flickr Upload

November 2012 - Full Feed - You can check it out here, but here are my favorites...

 Fun times at TKD

 Frosty mornings

 Him

 Us

 What a rare gift to have a bike ride in the middle of November!

 Great burgers & beer

 Let me show you...

This makes me smile..

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Landfill Music

I think I saw this on Arlin's blog some time back.  Just has taken me a while to post it.  It really shows the human desire for beauty and the divine power to overcome earthly problems.  So many of us live in such great wealth that we have lost the ability to do this.  And I'm not talking just about those people who live in 5000 square foot houses.  When was the last time you had to worry about eating a meal, or having enough money for your child to eat lunch at school, or being able to rent the band instrument, or even buy them a pair of shoes? Have we gained so much that we have so little regard for it? 

And you don't have to travel half-way around the world to be faced with people who every day are struggling.  RIGHT NOW there is a child in your kid's class who doesn't get a breakfast every morning, that the only meal they get is the one served at school.  The one your kid didn't want to eat because it was yucky.

Let this inspire you today, that something so beautiful and amazing can come out of such humble roots.  Let it inspire you to be more grateful for what you have in your life right now - the people, the things, the job.  Let it inspire you to somehow make a difference in someone else's life.

Peace,
elle

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Flickr Upload - October 2012

As always, you can catch the full feed here, but these are my faves!

 We pulled out the carpet in the dining room, and found this beautiful floor.  The boys helped pull nails & staples.

 Beef & Barley soup in the crock pot, so yummy to come home to!

 We went up north to fetch the camper, and it was a gorgeous weekend!

 011 getting his braces...

 009 getting new brackets...

 Finishing the floor...

 Becoming 009...

Favorite booth at the Chili Cook-off!

The Wheels on the Bus ...

... go 'round & 'round...

I know, now I have that song stuck in your head.  But how often life is just like that song, it just keeps going 'round.

Like I can't believe it has been since August since I have posted anything.  Wow, I'll see if I can remember the highlights...

September:
For Labor Day weekend, we went up north and spent the weekend at the cabin.  009 took a friend a long.  That was an interesting experience.  The boys all camped out in tents & loved it.  We went over to the lake and swam & had a picnic - super fun!

012 and I went up to Marshal for the Brooks Field Fly-In.  He had a great time catching flying pancakes.  We learned that regular coffee makes him too jittery.  He also got to drive Gadget's Willy's.  He did a great job, even with the clutch.  That was totally cool!

The boys had their TKD promotion to Jr. Orange Belt.  Very proud mama!

We did more work in the house in BTL, getting the bathroom closet & cabinets a minor overhaul.

Hooligans did the Special Olympics breakfast here in town, and then the Applefest Wings & Wheels show & parade up in Nappanee.  Gadget came down in the 172 and we ate some breakfast, then had to leave before the guys, so that we could make it there on time.  My boys went with us again this year.  They weren't as thrilled to spend the day hanging out at the airport as me.  However, I got to be in the parade this year with the guys in the Willy's & thanks to the lovely Sue for making sure they were OK.  It was a ton of fun!

At church we had a fun craft day at the local pottery studio.  I made a coffee cup for Gadget.

The boys continue to learn how to serve others by helping Grampa take care of the property.

We participated a bit in our community by going to SES's Family Fun Night and getting 009 his Jabba the Puppet & Jedi Academy books he's been dying for.

We took a late-season ride up to Hastings to eat at the Waldorff.  Yummy burgers!

I continued to do more work on the gardens, locating large rocks to line the drive with.

And scrapping, getting back into it again & trying to get stories told.
 

October:
More gardening, now over on the east side of the house, so the pine trees aren't so prickly when I mow.

Teaching the boys more cooking skills, it's actually starting to be a lot of fun, and 012 loves it!

Taking my brother Eric go-carting at Dad's.  It is so weird to see my kids taking care of him.

009's birthday to 010!!  Most exciting part of the month!  He is growing up way too fast!  We had it at Cannonball Lanes in town & he had a friend there.  His dad, stepmom & my dad made it too. AND chocolate cupcakes with chocolate frosting and chocolate sprinkles, as ordered!

Gadget and I took another trip up north over the weekend - getting really chilly now!  We decided to drive up the Leelanau Peninsula - that is the eastern peninsula of MI to check out some wineries.  We stopped at Two Lad's up on the tip, went up to the lighthouse and learned about how dredging has really caused water level issues for the lake.  Then we scooted down to another, that for the life of me I can't remember the name nor can I find it.  It was "something" Harbor.  Sigh.

We went to dinner at The Boathouse.  That was quite lovely, and expensive.  But it was the best Kobe Wagu beef!  Amazing!

More dryer woes & repairs - my goodness how we need good, cost-effective repair people!

Finally started getting our cubes at work.  Not a big hit.

012 had a Band Concert.  Can't believe I have a Jr. High Schooler.  Sheesh!  But, I am so proud of him, he loves playing the trumpet.

Halloween was fun, and we went into a girlfriend's neighborhood.  It rained, it was cold.

More scrapping - yea!

November:
I don't remember when, I can't find the pictures, but 010 did get his braces off!!!  That was totally cool!

012 is having to learn how to do homework again.  Being in advanced classes is just what he needed - challenged!

 Finally got the old tree cut down. It was dead.  It is a lot of wood.  One of the guys at work came & loaded up 2 truckloads of stuff that he could take home & split.  Dad took a truckload or 2.  There is still a ton on the ground, but it is too big to transport.

More clean up going on at the Ceresco dam.  That was an oil leak that won't soon be forgotten.  Now they are talking about removing the dam.

Furnace acting funny - more troubleshooting - yea!  They can't really seem to find anything wrong with it.

More work on the dryer - hopefully this will do it.  Getting tired of drying laundry all through the house, but it does help with the static!

Got a new coffee pot - the one from my dad went on the fritz.  Found a Krups model that also does cappuccino!!!  How awesome is that!

We started putting in the new furnace in the house in BTL.  Wow, this is going to be a project!!  I'm just glad he finally picked one (I think it has been at least a year that we've been talking about it!)

Worked on new product a lot this month - fun stuff!  Made some special for the kid's crafts project they are doing at church.

Helped with a Thankgiving Get-Together for Growing Grounds.  A small group of men & women transitioning out of jail & their kids.  They are trying really hard to make better choices & it is really amazing to see them grow, and see the connections they are making.  We made journals together.  Even the guys thought it was totally fun!

Dad came up with me for the Stauffer family Thanksgiving.  That was so wonderful!  We've not done the Poole one yet!

And we had a cookout at home after cleaning up the yard a bit.  Hot Dogs!  And then we sat out there for a bit drinking wine.  I really need to get some nice camping chairs.

And more scrapping!

December:
More work on the furnace, have the board all mapped out where the pumps and controls and everything are going to be.

Getting ready for Christmas!!!

Another belt promotion - Full Orange Belt!!  So.Very.Proud!  It is absolutely nerve-wracking to watch them do parts of it!  012 has trouble with the breaking ones.  During his Jr. promotion, he missed it 3 times & had to sit down.  I was sure he was going to fail.  It was so hard to watch.  Then Master called him back & he got another try.  And he made it.  I thought I was going to cry!  Luckily he did NOT do that to me again this time!

Christmas Band Concert - They just keep getting better.  Mr. Hickman is probably one of my favorite teachers - he is just amazing with the kids!

More weatherproofing the house - hope it makes a difference!  This has been one of the coldest years.  And just staying cold - little fluctuations!  And lots of snow (that part I like),  we even had some before Thanksgiving.

012 being in shop/woodworking and making stuff.  Totally digging that!

Going to Chicago to visit S before Christmas - tons of fun, and way too much Jamison!

Stauffer Christmas - lots of fun!  And punctuated with an ice storm & loss of power.  Luckily everyone we knew was taken care of - either staying with others, or running on generators.

Baking cookies & going flying.  It was so beautiful, and it was good to get her out & going.

Spending time with friends, going to the Arcadia & the Cricket Club.

And more scrapping!

January:
We spent New Year's here with the boys.  It was  a work day for me, so I really struggled with staying awake.  I lost.  Gadget was sweet & woke me up a few minutes before the ball.  The boys giggled at me.  We then watched the Rockin' New Years' Eve show.  Horrible.  Dick Clark must be spinning!

The boys got to learn how to split wood, the old-fashioned way!  They've used the splitter before, and like it.  The maul gave them a new appreciation for it!

I went up to BTL the next weekend, and then the blizzard hit.  I ended up having to stay at Charley Creek.  I made it all the way to my road but could not make it down it.  I was so frustrated after 6 hours of driving.  I should have just stayed there!  The boys were with their dad & enjoyed 3 extra days.  The hotel was nice, however, I did not have a stitch of clean clothing, a phone charger or a book.  I did find a crossword book in my suitcase & I had 1 magazine.

Getting the driveway plowed out was an experience.  The guy I don't think wanted to come over & do it.  Then I found half my driveway - in my yard!  He had pushed all the gravel 6 feet into the grass.  I was not pleased.  Ernie from work had someone come over to pull it all back into the driveway and my neighbor waved them off saying he was going to do it.  I really don't need help like this!  Gadget plans on bringing the tractor down to do it.  So that has kicked off getting the trailer & the tractor ready for the road - he wondered what his next project was going to be after getting the furnace done!  That really needs to be getting all the wood split!

And more scrapping!!!

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