nbc’s trama….
Friday, October 23, 2009
ahhh, that's quiet...
Boys are off swimming with grampa for the evening. I think he misses seeing them everyday and of course they love it because he always takes them to DQ when they’re done. Course I do miss them a bit while they are gone….
elle
miscellaneous
isn't that the category it seems like so many things fall into? we don't like things not being categorized, so we come up with a category to catch all that stuff that doesn't fall into any others. we are such little squirrels sometimes storing up our nuts for winter!
first thing, please say a prayer for all the troops who were deployed yesterday. a friend of mine's hubby left for iraq yesterday. they have 2 little girls. also pray for the families who stay here and take care of business every day so that they can go off and do their jobs. and especially, thanks Eric and Shannon for what you do every day, with love and grace. you both are amazing.
second thing, i think the bubonic plague has officially left my little household. 006 went back to school today. he still coughs quite a bit going in and out so i hope he will do ok once he gets in and settles down. since we are having a torrential downpour i don't have to worry about him going out over recess. just hope he remembers to give the teacher his note so he can take his medicine. he can remember to make his bed without being told, but getting notes to the teacher is another thing. my pastor said she used to have the same trouble when she was a kid and her mom would pin them to her coat. not a bad idea...
had coffee with mark at modoc's always so much fun. get to catch up, have a good cup of coffee (and it was free cause i had a full punch card!) and just watch the scenery. and by scenery i mean the guys working on the charley creek inn across the street. hummmm.....
anyway, if you are in wabash, stop by modoc's. one of the best coffee shops ever. hands down. better than starbucks. trust me, i love starbucks, but modocs is even better... prices are better, coffee is better, and the service is well, just down-home! and you can follow them on facebook if you'd like, just search for modoc's market.
i see the eagle's theatre has astro boy playing. think we'll go tomorrow or sunday to see it. they have a weekend matinee at 2pm. i like the eagles for several reasons. first of all, it's an old vaudeville theatre. my dad used to go to it growing up, it was a movie theatre then too. second, they still have the old bulb marquee out front. totally retro. third, they have a balcony. fourth, main floor is $4, balcony is $5, it's cheap. it's local, totally love that. i like supporting local businesses. ok, i know i have a pix somewhere, but can't find it. probably on my external at home. if i find it, i'll post it.
well, i think that is it. going to FISH again to pack. we did 14 families last week. the rain always seems to make less, we'll see about today. then it is off to kroger, and then home to work on class kits before the boys get home. tonight is pizza and movie night. we tried to watch chamber of secrets last night, but neither my dvd player or my laptop would read the disk very well. we missed A LOT of chapters. we were so mad. i got them from our local video store. but i signed up for netflix. this breaks my heart (see my comment about supporting local stuff) but this is not the first movie, in fact almost all the movies we've gotten there skip horribly. i know it is not my drives because my discs work fine.
hope this post finds you well... elle
first thing, please say a prayer for all the troops who were deployed yesterday. a friend of mine's hubby left for iraq yesterday. they have 2 little girls. also pray for the families who stay here and take care of business every day so that they can go off and do their jobs. and especially, thanks Eric and Shannon for what you do every day, with love and grace. you both are amazing.
second thing, i think the bubonic plague has officially left my little household. 006 went back to school today. he still coughs quite a bit going in and out so i hope he will do ok once he gets in and settles down. since we are having a torrential downpour i don't have to worry about him going out over recess. just hope he remembers to give the teacher his note so he can take his medicine. he can remember to make his bed without being told, but getting notes to the teacher is another thing. my pastor said she used to have the same trouble when she was a kid and her mom would pin them to her coat. not a bad idea...
had coffee with mark at modoc's always so much fun. get to catch up, have a good cup of coffee (and it was free cause i had a full punch card!) and just watch the scenery. and by scenery i mean the guys working on the charley creek inn across the street. hummmm.....
anyway, if you are in wabash, stop by modoc's. one of the best coffee shops ever. hands down. better than starbucks. trust me, i love starbucks, but modocs is even better... prices are better, coffee is better, and the service is well, just down-home! and you can follow them on facebook if you'd like, just search for modoc's market.
i see the eagle's theatre has astro boy playing. think we'll go tomorrow or sunday to see it. they have a weekend matinee at 2pm. i like the eagles for several reasons. first of all, it's an old vaudeville theatre. my dad used to go to it growing up, it was a movie theatre then too. second, they still have the old bulb marquee out front. totally retro. third, they have a balcony. fourth, main floor is $4, balcony is $5, it's cheap. it's local, totally love that. i like supporting local businesses. ok, i know i have a pix somewhere, but can't find it. probably on my external at home. if i find it, i'll post it.
well, i think that is it. going to FISH again to pack. we did 14 families last week. the rain always seems to make less, we'll see about today. then it is off to kroger, and then home to work on class kits before the boys get home. tonight is pizza and movie night. we tried to watch chamber of secrets last night, but neither my dvd player or my laptop would read the disk very well. we missed A LOT of chapters. we were so mad. i got them from our local video store. but i signed up for netflix. this breaks my heart (see my comment about supporting local stuff) but this is not the first movie, in fact almost all the movies we've gotten there skip horribly. i know it is not my drives because my discs work fine.
hope this post finds you well... elle
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Repost: Sitting Down (For the Record) : TheWorshipCommunity.Com - Worship Leader Resources, Articles, Forums
OK, obviously this is not mine, but i was just moved by the fact that sometimes we get caught up in the "rules" of worship that sometimes we forget to listen to how the spirit moves us. so kudos to you sarah for listening to that still, small voice & from one mama to another, yea, i get it....
Sitting Down (For the Record) : TheWorshipCommunity.Com - Worship Leader Resources, Articles, Forums
Sitting Down (For the Record) : TheWorshipCommunity.Com - Worship Leader Resources, Articles, Forums
Sunday, October 18, 2009
wild things
so i took the boys to see where the wild things are yesterday after the chili fest. i really love that thing, so does 008. 006 just charms crackers from everyone.
it was such an amazing movie, based on such a good book. of course, since the book is pretty short, they had to take a few creative liberties, but i was ok with that. added to the story, made it more layered, poignant. you get a bit of introspection of what it's like for children of divorced parents. max just looking for someone to defend him. got that, been there buddy. it hurts, to the core. he acts out, trying to get his mom's attention, he doesn't know what else to do. ends up running off to the island where he meets the group.
the group is falling apart because one of the wilds - KW- has run off to be with other friends because (we find out later) she's feeling suffocated and there's too much friction. carol is tearing things (huts) up because he doesn't understand why she doesn't like him (she does) and why she wants to be someplace else. he takes it personally. why does it matter anymore that these are our homes, we're not together anymore? totally get that.
they make max king, they build a fort where only the things you want can be there. but it starts to change & not be what they wanted. wow, so true of life. lots of fissures. max can't hold it all together, he's supposed to make everything ok, but he realizes he can't. and that there are just somethings you cannot fix. he gets homesick and wants to go back. carol goes nuts, tears stuff up. max had left a heart with a c in the middle at carol's special place. he sees it and then understands that max had never stopped loving him. he runs back and gets there just in time to wave goodbye to max.
max goes home & his mom is waiting for him and she falls asleep watching him eat his supper. she's peaceful. so is he.
and i cry. for so many reasons. because bob left me. because he unilaterally made a decision based on his own needs and wants. because that affected 3 other people. he was supposed to love us forever. meatloaf's 2 out of 3 ain't bad just doesn't cut it. i identify so much with carol, we were just all supposed to be together, to sleep in our pile and have only good things in our fort. not outsiders. he just wanted someone to like him and think he's cool and love him and think he was awesome and had good stuff to contribute and find him important in their lives - just like me. just like most people, i reckon.
but here we are 2+ years later since i moved and well, we're still here. i don't think i've been holding out hope that he would ask me back. it's pretty obvious that he doesn't. i'm too old, too fat, too not what he doesn't want. and just like carol, i want to lash out and say what is it all really for anyway? what difference does it make? does it really matter? i mean, i could exercise and loose the 10 pounds. i could go get a tummy tuck, and collagen in my face. i could learn how to belly dance and tell the best jokes, but come the end of the day, it's not going to "win him back" because it comes down to the fact that he.just.doesn't.want.to.be.with.me. nothing is going to change that. and do i really want to be with him? i don't know. i go back and forth. yea, i know, see earlier post that means i don't.
but i had hopes and dreams of us growing old together, raising our kids together, seeing our grandchildren together. and yes, i know we will still do all those things, but it will be together/apart. i never wanted my kids to have step-parents & half-siblings. i'm not sure why he does want them to. now someone else lives the life that i thought was mine. and it hurts. every time i see her or my boys mention her name (they like her, and i guess that's good) it cuts like a knife straight into my heart of hearts.
she's fun & likes to play games with them. i'm boring and make them do their homework. i know it's not a competition, but somehow it is. i want them to choose me, not her. i guess i fear i don't even measure up to my own kids. or even to my own standards.
so that's my twisted look at the movie and how it applies to my life. still waiting for someone to watch me peacefully while i eat supper.
it was such an amazing movie, based on such a good book. of course, since the book is pretty short, they had to take a few creative liberties, but i was ok with that. added to the story, made it more layered, poignant. you get a bit of introspection of what it's like for children of divorced parents. max just looking for someone to defend him. got that, been there buddy. it hurts, to the core. he acts out, trying to get his mom's attention, he doesn't know what else to do. ends up running off to the island where he meets the group.
the group is falling apart because one of the wilds - KW- has run off to be with other friends because (we find out later) she's feeling suffocated and there's too much friction. carol is tearing things (huts) up because he doesn't understand why she doesn't like him (she does) and why she wants to be someplace else. he takes it personally. why does it matter anymore that these are our homes, we're not together anymore? totally get that.
they make max king, they build a fort where only the things you want can be there. but it starts to change & not be what they wanted. wow, so true of life. lots of fissures. max can't hold it all together, he's supposed to make everything ok, but he realizes he can't. and that there are just somethings you cannot fix. he gets homesick and wants to go back. carol goes nuts, tears stuff up. max had left a heart with a c in the middle at carol's special place. he sees it and then understands that max had never stopped loving him. he runs back and gets there just in time to wave goodbye to max.
max goes home & his mom is waiting for him and she falls asleep watching him eat his supper. she's peaceful. so is he.
and i cry. for so many reasons. because bob left me. because he unilaterally made a decision based on his own needs and wants. because that affected 3 other people. he was supposed to love us forever. meatloaf's 2 out of 3 ain't bad just doesn't cut it. i identify so much with carol, we were just all supposed to be together, to sleep in our pile and have only good things in our fort. not outsiders. he just wanted someone to like him and think he's cool and love him and think he was awesome and had good stuff to contribute and find him important in their lives - just like me. just like most people, i reckon.
but here we are 2+ years later since i moved and well, we're still here. i don't think i've been holding out hope that he would ask me back. it's pretty obvious that he doesn't. i'm too old, too fat, too not what he doesn't want. and just like carol, i want to lash out and say what is it all really for anyway? what difference does it make? does it really matter? i mean, i could exercise and loose the 10 pounds. i could go get a tummy tuck, and collagen in my face. i could learn how to belly dance and tell the best jokes, but come the end of the day, it's not going to "win him back" because it comes down to the fact that he.just.doesn't.want.to.be.with.me. nothing is going to change that. and do i really want to be with him? i don't know. i go back and forth. yea, i know, see earlier post that means i don't.
but i had hopes and dreams of us growing old together, raising our kids together, seeing our grandchildren together. and yes, i know we will still do all those things, but it will be together/apart. i never wanted my kids to have step-parents & half-siblings. i'm not sure why he does want them to. now someone else lives the life that i thought was mine. and it hurts. every time i see her or my boys mention her name (they like her, and i guess that's good) it cuts like a knife straight into my heart of hearts.
she's fun & likes to play games with them. i'm boring and make them do their homework. i know it's not a competition, but somehow it is. i want them to choose me, not her. i guess i fear i don't even measure up to my own kids. or even to my own standards.
so that's my twisted look at the movie and how it applies to my life. still waiting for someone to watch me peacefully while i eat supper.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)